Piece 5, A/W 2023 Collection You're The Voice

Have you ever had that feeling at work or at home where you know that your competency is creating complacency in others around you? Or when you are parenting, the awareness that although out of love, your inclination to just do for your child what you know they are meant to learn to do themselves is enabling their future insufficiency? The potential impact of this phenomenon is dialled up several notches when you are, by your very nature, also a control freak. Because you are sending strong signals out into the world that you have got it alllllllllll covered. Nothing to see here, all good thank you very much, appreciate the gesture but back away from the boundary, because I got this.

It is no doubt a dream to actually have this. To be so capable and resilient that you really do carry the load of life well. But as it relates to others who are still trying to learn how to reach that place or put in the practice that it takes to perfect what the world is asking of them, it can be inhibiting to their growth if you just do it for them. And as it relates to you, while you are busy being so on the ball, people tend to forget that the ball you are bouncing can get tiring.

Since coming out into the world after my recovery from cancer, I have carried emotional and physical loads that could fill highways of semi-trailers. My friends and family have climbed the peaks and troughs of the mountains with me like loyal sherpa’s who had to carry not just their own lives on their backs, but also mine, and for the entire very lengthy journey. And even after we have survived it all, the baggage remains exceptionally heavy to drag around. Yet we do it. And we do it damn well. Like so many others who have been through tough times.

But I often get a lot of surprised faces when I break down out of nowhere or when I share that I have been having a tough time because people remind me that I seem to have it all together. It made me realise that I have this kind of weird little self-created problem. On the one hand, I don’t like talking about how hard things are. That is not about denial but rather a choice to not identify with tragedy, loss, illness, pain or fear and to avoid stagnating for too long in a victim mentality. But then at the same time, I also find myself getting this weird nervousness when I think people might have forgotten because I do of course still need the empathy, flexibility, and understanding.

I have come to see the world as one giant human library. And we, the human beings, are the books. Each one of us filled with unique stories. When we meet people, we must remember to turn their pages with great care and attention. Even if people are out there doing life during one of their most intense chapters, it doesn’t mean parts of their hearts or souls are not also aching. Maybe they don’t want to talk about it because they don’t like pity, maybe they are craving normalcy after a long period of disruption and mayhem, or maybe they just are really strong or proud and find it hard to show weakness. But I have come to realise after starting to share my own story, that it is not selfish in any way. In fact it can be selfless, an act of potential service to others. I have heard it said before, that your story may just be someone else’s survival guide.

My all-time fav Johnny Farnham sings songs with lyrics that have always enamoured me. Let’s just say me and my hairbrush have had a lot of fun together belting out his tunes. I roll him into this story because he was also diagnosed with a type of head and neck cancer. These bad boys are rare types of cancers and unfortunately don’t receive the same philanthropic attention as other cancers. Yet.

So, we have to tell our stories, we need to tell our stories, sometimes we are duty bound to tell our stories. Johnny’s lyrics could not be ringing in my ears more loudly than they are today. You’re the voice, try and understand it, make a noise and make it clear. We’re not gonna sit in silence, we’re not gonna live in fear. That’s right Johnny. No, we are most definitely not.

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